Krillin and his Wish
by Enukid
Summary: In which A) Krillin wishes that he could be cool for just one time, and even that backfires cuz he sucks B)Trunks is on a sugar high hangover C) VEGETA kills PEOPLE for NO REASON


It's been over three years since this strange little story was written-I barely remember my scatological, hyperactive bits of humor like this. But now it's time to finish what I started. I know it's futile to make the story any less trite, but I feel that I need to type up the rest and re-edit the first chapters into something understandable. And now, enjoy the next few chapters!

I can understand if you don't want to read the original 9 chapters (I found it painful, myself) so until they are rewritten, here is a synopsis: Trunks dressed up like Goten and started doing bad things so later Goten would be blamed for him, in revenge for Goten stealing one of his toys. He calls Krillin a loser and knocks him unconscious, then heads toward Wal-Mart for more heinous acts. When Krillin wakes up Bulma hands him the Dragon balls simply to advance the plot, and Krillin accidentally wishes that he was cooler. Now he is at the tournament where everyone thinks he is awesome for no apparent reason. He just beat the first round fight, against Hercule.

Characters so far: Bulma, Vegeta, Goku, Trunks, Dende, Duck head Man, A chipmunk with no hind legs.

Chapter 10- Zombie fans

"I thought my wish was supposed to make me popular!" , whined Krillin, scratching his shaggy-haired head. "And yet both Hercule and Vegeta still hate me! I don't understand."

All cameras were fixed on him. His mush covered the entire Jumbotron, but nobody was interested in what he was saying.

"Hmm…no," he floundered, "No, I simply wished to be cool. I didn't wish to be universally popular! And why am I, anyways? I don't feel different at all, yet …!" He absentmindedly signed a fan's autograph, then another, then another. Suddenly he realized the line around him. Not really a line. A humongous mob filling the entire arena and snaking out of every exit!

"Aigh! This is just the end of the first round! The tournament's not over yet!"

The fans pressed against him like zombies, grabbing at his hair.

"No! I'm not even asking you!" shouted Vegeta, after giving Goku an evil look. Goku protested. "No! Not again! How come you always got to be killing people?" Vegeta gave him an evil smirk. "You can fight me now or you can fight me later, and if you fight me later you get money."

"But that's not impor-"But it was too late, Vegeta was already gone.

"Get back in your seats!" Vegeta shouted in a hoarse voice.

(This is where the story gets all violent for no apparent reason. I look back on this and cringe. Anyways, lots of people die, there is blood, and then-)

"Heh, heh, heh….stupid, weak humans! They're like Tuffles and stuff."

He laughed cruelly at the top of his lungs until he couldn't breathe anymore. "It's funner to kill them one by one," he remarked. "Damn, I'm evil."

Now, this is where it gets complicated. The fans wanted to escape. Of course they did. But the overwhelming, unstoppable power of Krillin's wish meant that they to be attracted to Krillin, even at the expense of death.

"Whoa! This is getting' kinda crazy!" shouted Hercule, who didn't see why Krillin was so cool in the first place and was spared. "It's like their bodies are fighting their minds!"

A woman broke into tears as she walked closer to Krillin and therefore to death itself. "Krillin…I love you…" She said in a faint angry whisper. "Krillin…sign my leg…"

Krillin just stood there, whimpering, his eyes shaking in that weird way an animated character can sometimes do.

"Krillin, you are so cool. I wish I was like you." "Krillin…" "Krillin…" "Krillin…" Krrriiiilllliiinnnn…."

He curled in to a little ball and started crying.

"Uh, everyone calm down!" cried the announcer. Desperately he added, "Autographs will be held after the tournament!"

The audience shuffled back into the stands. Except that the audience was in reality about ten people now. The rest were of course dead. More bouts in the tournament were fought without any particular interest. Then came the quarter-finals and the next major round-Krillin vs. Goku. Except not really not that overly major, because I think we all know that Goku is going to win. "Oooohkay!" cried the announcer, not a smidgen of enthusiasm lost in his voice, "Next up is our hero Krillin versus Goku. Yaaay!" One of the surviving fans looked around nervously. "Um, is it ok to clap?" "For the love of God don't kill us!" "Yeh for Krillin!" There was a tone of nervousness in all their voices.

"Pooh. I let you kill all those people Vegeta. But you're going to get your come-uppance. Just watch. I'll beat Krillin, then I'm gonna beat you and get all the prize money."

"Just don't overdo it and kill him. Pity it's against your human rules."

"No, I was thinking about just poking him until he falls out of the ring."

"Meh. 'S worked before."

"Yeah."

"What the hell are you waiting for? What is this, Sailor moon? Go out and fight!"

"Oh! Fight! Right, right." He said with a goofy grin.

Krillin laughed. "Aw, gee, Goku! We all know you're going to win and stuff!"

"Gosh! Guess you're right, Krillin! But can we still be friends afterwards?"

A rock thrown by Vegeta hits Goku squarely in the head.

"Oh, right."

"Ha ha."

"He he."

"ha."

"Die!" cried Krillin, aiming a flying kick at Goku's stomach. Goku dodged and simultaneously karate chopped Krillin in the head, who thus ate dirt.

"Aw, shucks! Dat hurt!" he laughed good naturedly. "But we all know you would have won anyways." A rock hit him in the head.

Next: what happens (?)


End file.
